Remembering 2005 (WOW! I feel like I just completed remembering 2004!!! What happened to time????)

+ what did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?: I was a bridesmaid in a wedding=) I went to Arizona and climbed a Mesa.

+ did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: No, I really need to work on keeping my resolutions- I don't think I kept any of them=( For next year I am definitely running the Chicago marathon and working out more!

+ did anyone close to you give birth?: not that I can remember

+ did anyone close to you die?: yes, a co-worker... 22 year old Matthew.. sooo sad!

+ what places did you visit?: I went to Arizona to visit Nora in the summer.

+ what would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?: I would like to graduate and attain a job.

Oh man I don't know. This is a hard one! I will remember my clinical teaching experience, my roommate's wedding, and the day I found out my best friend was graduating early and moving to AZ.

+ what was your biggest achievement of the year?: Becoming a University Honors Scholar and improving my triathlon time.

Letting friends down and being too busy for life. And how can I foget getting a 92.67% in a class when I needed a 93% to get an A=(

+ did you suffer illness or injury?: Not really.

+ what was the best thing you bought?: Good question. My new car!!!! =)

+ whose behavior merited celebration?: I think Nora's. She has really matured a lot this year. She is positive and doesn't let little things bother her anymore. My lil Nora is growing up!!!!

+ whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: Those who do not put forth thier best efforts.

+ where did most of your money go?: Passion 06, food, and clothes.

+ what did you get really, really, really excited about?: Passion 06, My new car!, visiting Nora in AZ, teaching.

+ what song[s] will always remind you of 2005?: Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?, My Humps, Lifehouse, Laughy Taffy

+ compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? this is tough- Last year was one of the best years of my life. I don't think 2005 was as good- but 2006 is alreay starting off well! I praying for my best year ever! This is definitely a year of changes! I am growing up: graduating, hopefully getting a job, paying for myself, etc.
ii. thinner or fatter? about the same- prob a lil fatter tho;)
iii. richer or poorer? richer- I sit in a computer lab and talk online AND get paid!... what more could you ask for?

+ what do you wish you'd done more of: work out and see those who I am closest to.  

+ what do you wish you'd done less of?: Stressing out

+ did you fall in love in 2005?: I'm still single=)

+ how many one night stands?: 0

+ what was your favorite TV program?: Definitely the OC!! My roommates and I would watch the 1st and 2nd season on DVD- I can't wait for season 3 to come out on DVD!!!=)

+ do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: I don’t hate anyone.

+ do you like anyone now that you hated this time last year?: I don’t hate.

+ what was the best book you read?: The Five Love Languages

+ what was your greatest musical discovery?: Dancing music;)

+ what was your favorite film of this year?: Hitch

+ what did you do on your birthday?: Went to dinner with my family and Nora. How could we forget my grandma at my birthday=) On my birthday, it was the day we left for the ski trip so I was in the car with Bryan, Dan, and Erin... Bryan bought me my 1st drink as a 21 year old~ a Mike's Hard Lemonade at the gas station. haha good times.

+ what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: Seeing friends more.

+ how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?: I was pretty lazy- sporting the athletic clothes (tight boy's tshirts)... However, I did have to start dressing like a teacher... nice pants and collared shirts.

+ what kept you sane?: I don't think I was too sane this year. haha. But my roommates: Ashley, Megan, and Erin helped.. ALong with Mike Chen, Katie Farmer, and of course Nora!!!

+ which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: No one really.

+ what political issue stirred you the most?: Iraq situation, gas prices

+ whom did you miss?: My family, Nora (cuz I didn't get to see her enough), and those I had lost touch with

+ who was the best new person you met?: Probably my friends Saeed and Ed- they made each day brighter and school more fun!

THE FIRE

I received a phone call around 2pm on Thursday, May 5 from my good friend Chris. He told me that his apartment was on fie but everyone got out and was ok. I asked if he was serious and he said he was but I did not believe him. I walked over to Nora’s apartment and told her what Chris had told me. I was definitely in shock and did not think that a fire was possible. Nora and I drove over to the boy’s apartment to see if there really was a fire. On the drive over I saw huge clouds of black smoke in the air. When I saw those I knew Chris was serious. As I walked up to the fire I was in shock, I had never seen anything like it. There were hundreds of people standing around watching the building as it was being engulfed in flames. People were crying, talking on cell phones, there were reporters asking people questions. All I could think was HOW could something like this happen? Many emotions overwhelmed me as I walked up to see my friends Tim, Pete, and Phil. As I walked up to see my friends, tears began to well up in my eyes. The apartment was their home; everything they owned was in there. All they could do was stand outside and watch the fire spread and hope that it would not engulf their apartment. I felt an incredible sense of empathy for all of my friends and for the people who lost everything in the fire. The fire really hit me hard. I felt like it was happening to me. I can not imagine the thoughts that went through my friend’s heads. As I stood there watching the apartment burn, I thought of all the memories we had in that apartment. I am really going to miss that place!

The fire that began Thursday afternoon in the apartments on Phoenix was one of the most horrific sights I have ever witnessed. When you hear about fires in the news you do not really think about how much it affects people’s lives.  After this fire, I now know how horrible something like this is. I was able to see first hand how it affected people. It made me realize that something tragic can happen to anyone at any time. We are not guaranteed tomorrow.

Throughout all the dreadfulness, the boys handled this situation better than I could have ever imagined. When they were standing outside their apartment watching the complex burn, they were all grateful that they were alive. All they had were the clothes on their backs. They were very humble and were ok with losing their material items. During this time, everyone was so helpful and caring. Young America, the company they rent from put them into a vacant apartment. The Red Cross provided bedding, necessary items, and food. I have so much respect for the Red Cross. They jumped in right away to help the victims of the fire.

I just want to thank everyone who prayed and who was there for the boys and anyone else involved with the fire. I also wanted to tell all of the boys that I am extremely proud of the way that you handled the situation. You guys were so calm and mature about everything. I love all of you and am always here for you guys!

Currently Playing Grace Like Rain By Todd Agnew see related

LOVE LIFE!

I have just had a revelation in my life. Tonight, I went and hung out with some friends and we really got into some deep conversations. It was amazing just to be with people who share the same passion for God. Through our conversation I pulled out a lot and when I came back to my room I really sat and pondered my life. I feel I have gotten so caught up with the monotonous daily tasks that I had lost my love of life. I began to worry about little things. Worry about boys. Worry about grades. Worry about my future. I have not had my focus on God the past few weeks. I have been so overwhelmed with school that I have neglected the things that are most important and dear to me. I have altered who I am because of all of my stressors. My passion for God and my friends had diminished. Well it is definitely refueled now. There are so many things I have to live for- there are so many things I want to do with my life! LIFE IS SO AMAZING! We should not just dwell in the sorrow of our daily lives. We should live our lives and love every minute of it. We should praise God for everything, good and bad. Life is too short to worry so much and to not love.

Why waste time being angry at stupid things like traffic? Getting angry is not going to help the situation. Why stress about school? School is only a short time in your life. When you look back on college, what are you going to remember all the A’s you got and stressing about school work? OR will you remember your friends and the relationships you built?

There are so many things I want to do with my life. I am sick of sitting around and stressing about things that will be meaningless to me in the next month. It is time to start living! God is sooo awesome!

What I want to do….. I want to live my life so that people will remember my passion. I want to impact people’s lives. I want to share the gospel. I want to make a difference. I want to dance. I want to smile. I want people to smile when they look at me. I want people to be happy. I want to publish a book. I want to draw. I want to love people. I want people to love me. I want to tell my family how important they are to me. I want to go running. I want to be a light for others. I want to go camping. I want to be random. I want to run in the rain. I want to go canoeing. I want to go hiking. I want to go fishing. I want to go hunting with my brother and dad. I want father-daughter time. I want to hug my friends. I want people to know how much I love them. I want to go skydiving. I want to go waterskiing. I want to work out. I want to eat a whole bag of Reeses. I want people to love me for who I am- for the girl who wears athletic clothes, loves God with all of her heart, loves her friends to death, loves her family, the girl who would do anything for a  friend. I want to lead a Bible study. I want to read the Bible. I want to read. I want to write. I want to go to museums. I want to travel. I want to see the world. I want to live life like there is no tomorrow. I want to sleep under the stars. I want to fall in love. I want to run a marathon. I want to meet Jessica Simpson. I want to take pictures. I want to play sports. I want people to know how much I love them. I want people to know how beautiful and amazing they are. I want people to know the gifts God has given them. I want the world to be a happy place. There is so much I want to do.

Life does not sit around and wait for you! You have to go out and pursue your dreams. Remember: When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced...Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice....

Life is amazing! Love life! Leave a footprint in every life that you touch!

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree Lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your Parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned That making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've Learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you Need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I Decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've Learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People Love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I Still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how You made them feel."

-Angelou

Yes, it has been a ridiculously long time since I have entered anything into my journal. The stress from school really got to me. This semester has been really crazy again. I am in six classes and the workload is unbearable. Last week I was so stressed that I had to sign my computer off of AIM for a week. Me not on AIM, I know, that’s crazy! I just wanted to let everyone know that I am not trying to ignore you and I am not mad at anyone- I have just been overwhelmed with school. Before I start writing about a topic which pertains to my studies, I just want to give a summary of what has been going on in my life the past few months.

This semester has been a definite struggle for me spiritually. Last semester I was on such a high. Everything was amazing over winter break- I went to Ignite, a Christian conference in Ohio. It was an amazing to hear what all of the speakers had to say- I really learned a lot and applied what I learned to my life. Over winter break, I also went on a ski trip with my church to Northern Wisconsin and Michigan. I was there for a week and it was a really great time to bond with people and to delve into God’s word. Over break I read through almost the whole New Testament along with other Christian books. I can not remember all the books that I read over break, but two of them that I really enjoyed were The Fuel and the Flame and Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. I am going to be referring to Authentic Beauty later in my journal entry.

After break, I came back to ISU excited to start the new semester. A lot of things changed this semester and I think that was difficult for me to adjust to. My school schedule started to get crazy and so did everything else in my life. Issues with friends, issues with relationships, etc all began to overwhelm me. I began to fall from all the pressures, but God brought some really awesome people into my life that helped me get through things. You all know who you are=)

Now I am on my climb up to the top. I am growing so much through reading scripture, life group, bible studies, and church. I am so blessed that I am embedded in such amazing Christian community. Thank you all for being there for me!!!!

The Unknown Path

Many people struggle with the notion that they will never get married or find that special someone in their life. People feel they have a void if they are not in a relationship with another human being. People want to feel loved. That is a major factor in why so many young men and women today partake in premarital sexual relations. (View my article posted 12/12/04 titled Sex and Society to acquire more information on sexual relations) People want to feel loved so they sacrifice their purity for temporary satisfaction. In the long run, this temporary fix for the void in their life turns out to be a greater challenge and disappointment. People can not find complete and full satisfaction in other people, sexual relations, in a new car, in a fillet mignon steak, or even in a reeses. All of these things are trying to take place of the God shaped hole in our hearts. Nothing Earthly will ever satisfy your deepest needs and desires. People and material things will always fail you. They are not perfect. Only God is perfect and will not fail you. God will be there with you through every moment of your life.

So many people put their love, hope, and faith into another human and inevitably come out of the situation hurt, lost, distressed, and disappointed. They put so much of their heart into another individual and in the end, things do not work out with that person. A piece of the heart is taken away that can never be repaired or replaced.

These people continually turn to other humans and material, Earthly things to try to reconcile the hurt in their lives. They just grow deeper and deeper into despair. Consider: How can you love somebody else when you do not love yourself? How can you be in a Christian relationship if you do not have God as your center focus?

These are some questions that I have pondered for quite some time now. The way I have chosen to live my life can be reflected in the way I responded to these questions. Here is a personal account from my own life:

In my past relationships, I did not always have God as my center focus. I found comfort and belonging in the attention I received from guys. This attention was always temporary and when it ended, I would feel bad about myself. I no longer had a guy there telling me I was beautiful or that I was worthy. I fed off of the compliments and that is what made me complete. Or so I thought it made me complete.

After being in a relationship where I came out of it feeling completely empty, I decided it was time to make a change in my life. I did not want to rely on a guy to make me happy. I read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, and guess what I did? I gave up dating. I did not necessarily put a time frame on how long I would give up dating. However, I knew I had a lot of spiritual growth to on my own in order to be prepared to be in a relationship one day. I gave all of my relationship worries up to God and put the plan of my love life into God’s hands. If you would have told me in high school that I would give up dating for an extended period of time, I would have told you, you were crazy! I am sure many of you find this hard to believe. But I did it.

It has been over a year since I gave up dating, and in that time I have grown incredibly! I can not even describe the immense growth. I learned that I can be satisfied without a guy there to reassure me. There are so many experiences that I have been through, so many friendships made, and so many people’s lives that I have had an impact on that I would never have experienced if I would have been dating all of this time. During my period of growth, I read numerous books. One book that really stuck out to me and mirrored my actions was Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. If you have not read this book I would recommend it. The book is about falling in love with your true prince. The back of the book reads:

“Inside of every young woman is a princess in search of a prince. In a culture that mocks our longing for tender romance, in a society that exalts the empty charm of a painted face or perfect figure- do we dare hope for more? For every young woman asking that question, this book is an invitation. With refreshing candor and vulnerability, bestselling author Leslie Ludy reveals how, starting today, you can experience the passion and intimacy you long for. You can begin a never-ending love story with your true Prince. You will discover a truly authentic beauty that flows from Him- beauty that can change your whole world.”

The book really encompasses what I strived for during my time being single. I realized how important friends are, how important family is, and how important God is. Being single for an extended period of time is not easy. I was very tempted to fall into the destructive patterns of our society. I was also pursued by four guys during this time. That made my decision to stay single very difficult. Some of the guys who pursued me were awesome Christians, so it was very difficult for me to keep to my promise to God. When all of these guys asked me out, I prayed about it and did not have peace from God. I knew that I was being tested to remain faithful. God has someone perfect out there planned for me. It is just a matter of when God is going to bring that person into my life. Who knows, I could already know the person.

Before people decide to get into a relationship I think that they need to be happy with themselves and love themselves. They also need to be strong in their walk with God. If not, the two people will bring one another down. Here is a poem that I received from a friend that I think is really awesome and encouraging:

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a  deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But, God to a Christian, says, No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of any other desires and longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you can not imagine. I want you to have the best; please allow Me to give it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.

You just keep waiting, that is all.

Do not be anxious.

Do not worry.

Do not look at the things that you want.

You just keep looking up and away to Me or you will miss what I have to show you.

Then when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love more wonderful than any you could dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working at this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with ME, and this is perfect love.

And, my beloved child, I want you to have the most wonderful love; I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with ME, to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself.

I love you utterly.

I am God.

Believe it and be satisfied.

I think that is truly a powerful poem. I know that there are a lot of you out there who are struggling with relationships. You want to have that person to share your life with. At this point in your life you are seeing all your friends get into relationships, people are starting to graduate, people are even getting engaged and married. These things are going to start occurring as we get older, but God has a perfect time for everyone. “He has made everything beautiful in its time” Ecclesiastes 3:11. To be honest, I also do struggle with this issues. It is so hard to be patient. But God will bless you for being patient!

Final Thoughts:

There are so many people in this world. There are so many roads, so many paths to take- and with each one a different adventure awaits. Every path you take affects your life. How do you know which path to take? Ask God for guidance. Pray about whatever decision you have to make. If you have peace about it then go for it.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” –Robert Frost.

Wherever your path my lead you, whatever direction you decide to turn, I hope that you are blessed!

Until next time….

God Bless!

Tiffany

Currently Playing Restored By Jeremy Camp see related

+ what did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?: Went on a retreat and finished a triathlon without stopping or walking!

+ did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: I didn’t really have one for 2004, but for 2005 I am going to read through the whole Bible, grow spiritually, run the Chicago marathon, and workout more (train more for my triathlons)

+ did anyone close to you give birth?: not that I can remember

+ did anyone close to you die?: no one really close- but an awesome guy from my high school- John Collins died in the military. He was seriously the coolest and nicest guy ever! It is sooo sad that such an amazing person was killed.

+ what places did you visit?: wow not a lot… Nora and I took a road trip to Missouri to watch the Jessica Simpson concert in the summer- In December I went to a Christian conference in Columbus, Ohio.

+ what would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?: 2004 was an awesome year- I just hope life keeps getting better! Well I’d like to get a car- cuz I need one for student teaching.

The year from February on was amazing!!!! I’ll always remember my fall semester 2004- the best semester of my life: academically, spiritually, and with friendships!!!

+ what was your biggest achievement of the year?: Getting baptized, getting straight A’s, doing my triathlon.

Not trying my hardest and doing things I know were wrong.

+ did you suffer illness or injury?: I had a double ear infection in April- that was pretty painful! And I sprained my ankle playing basketball the last day of finals in May- so I was out for 3 weeks!

+ what was the best thing you bought?: some of my books

+ whose behavior merited celebration?: all my friends: you guys are the most amazing people- I love you all!

+ whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: when people conform to standards of society that they do not agree with just to fit in. oh and the stalker I had in the summer- that was really scary.

+ where did most of your money go?: books, retreats, church functions

+ what did you get really, really, really excited about?: THURSDAY nights!!!!! Where I go to see my amazing friends!!! Monday nights for my life group! Sunday mornings at the Rock=) oh yes, and of course BASKETBALL!!!

+ what song[s] will always remind you of 2004?: All of Ryan Cabrera’s cd, Jessica Simpson, Collide- Howie Day, Christian music

+ compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? HAPPIER, no doubt about it!
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter I think- I don’t know- I weigh more- but I also lift weights more. haha
iii. richer or poorer? poorer monetarily. But much, much richer in life.

+ what do you wish you'd done more of: spend more time with family and friends- keep better in contact with old friends- made a bigger impact on people’s lives.

+ what do you wish you'd done less of?: Stressing over school and grades. Worrying about things that shouldn’t be worried about. Swearing. Dwelling on the past.

+ did you fall in love in 2004?: no, definitely not.

+ how many one night stands?: 0

+ what was your favorite TV program?: well it used to be Newlyweds- but I didn’t hook my TV up fall semester.

+ do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: I don’t hate anyone. I love everyone- even those who have hurt me.

+ do you like anyone now that you hated this time last year?: I don’t hate.

+ what was the best book you read?: I read a TON this year! Probably about 15 or so books since the summer. Craziness! The Bible is amazing… Some of my favorites include: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, What’s a Girl to Do?, Authentic Beauty, When God Writes Your Loves Story, Every Young Man’s Battle, and Every Young Woman’s Battle.

+ what was your greatest musical discovery?: Christian Rock

+ what was your favorite film of this year?: 13 Going on 30

+ what did you do on your birthday?: Went to dinner with my family, went to a movie, my Birthday was sooo long ago- haha Jan 10! This year will be sooo much better!!!

+ what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: My year was AMAZING! God blessed me with the most amazing friends- I could not have asked for any more.

+ how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?: Well the beginning of 2004 I dressed more provocatively than later in 2004. I decided people need to like me for who I am not an image I portray- so I dressed lazy- in athletic clothes.

+ what kept you sane?: Nora helped a lot. Thanks for always being there- even at 3am!!! I wouldn’t be where I am today without you! Also praying, journaling, talking to friends.

+ which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey

+ what political issue stirred you the most?: the election- Bush won tho!!! Woo=)

+ whom did you miss?: Those I’ve lost touch with

+ who was the best new person you met?: All my Cornerstone friends! You guys are sooo amazing! You are family to me- seriously- I would do anything for you guys!